Top 5 Tuesday: Dwight Schrute Quotes

The legendary paper salesman, beet farmer, and werewolf hunter Dwight Schrute

Happy Top 5 Tuesday, world! What better way to celebrate the most underrated day of the week than by counting up the top 5 quotes from the one and only Dwight K. Schrute? Here are some of his most memorable ponderances…

1.) “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.” (Season 3, episode 17, “Business School”)

2.) “I am faster than 80% of all snakes.” (Season 2, episode 12, “The Injury”)

3.) “Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can–and do–cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.” (Season 2, episode 19, “Michael’s Birthday”)

4.) “I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.” (Season 3, episode 17, “Business School”)

5.) “So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified.” (Season 3, episode 24, “The Job”)

What are your favorite quotes from Dwight Schrute? Leave ‘em in the comments, or tweet us @PopCultureNexus! And remember: Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet.

-Louise

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Posted on November 29, 2011, in Television, Top 5 and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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