‘Rock of Ages’: Remember That Time Tom Cruise Wore a Jewel-Encrusted Codpiece?
That time is now. Rock of Ages might be the most fun I’ve had at the movies in the past five years. (For the record, The Avengers was more akin to a religious experience than a fun movie outing.) If you’ve seen the trailer, the movie is exactly what it looks like: a big-screen adaptation of a jukebox musical full of 80s hair band songs. Tom Cruise is mind-blowing as fictional rock god Stacee Jaxx. He somehow manages to be mesmerizing and laughable at the same time, especially when he (literally) serenades Malin Akerman’s tush. Rock of Ages has everything you could want in a summer movie: singing, dancing, a monkey in a leather jacket, Bryan Cranston, a stripper with a heart of gold, the music of Journey, assless chaps, a comically large portable phone from the late 80s, Tom Cruise in eye liner, a gay subplot, and an adorably attractive young ingénue who looks like the lovechild of Matthew McConaughey and Ed Westwick (Diego Boneta). How could it not be awesome? Rock of Ages is not by any means a great film, at least by the typical measures of cinematic artistry, but the cast clearly had a fabulous time making this movie, and that sense of fun carries over to the audience (at least in my case). It’s a movie whose success hinges on its own ridiculousness, and for me, it was more than enough to make it worth seeing. Of course, it goes without saying that if you don’t like 80s music or jukebox musicals, Rock of Ages probably isn’t for you. But if you’re looking for nothing but a good time, Rock of Ages delivers. Fair warning though, you’ll have “Pour Some Sugar on Me” stuck in your head for days.