Congratulations on surviving another week! You deserve a reward. How about a rundown of the funniest lines from
my your favorite shows this week?…
How I Met Your Mother 7×09 “Disaster Averted”
Marshall: “Nobody wakes up in the morning and says, ‘Today I’m going to star in a YouTube video’.”
Lily: “You’ve said that at least a dozen times.”
Castle 4×08 “Heartbreak Hotel”
“Wow. Apparently last time you were at the Sapphire, you accidentally set a mattress on fire and the drapes were covered with jam.” -Daniel to Castle
New Girl 1×05 “Cece Crashes”
“No, I don’t dance. I’m from that town in Footloose.” -Nick
Up All Night 1×08 “First Night Away”
“I noticed you are doing a lot of whispering. How much does she understand? Because I have to make a phone call later to my investment bankers and the language might get a little salty. Those [beep] are [beep] me dry.” -Ava to Chris in front of Amy
Community 3×07 “Studies in Modern Movement”
“We spent our whole lives being told that blanket forts are only for special occasions, like sleepovers, or when uncles die. But that’s a lie, Annie. You can live in a fort of blankets all day every night.” -Troy
Parks & Recreation 4×07 “The Treaty”
“I just traded Finland’s military to Kenya for fifty lions.” -Andy
What did we miss? Tell us your favorite lines from this week of TV. Leave a comment, or tweet us @PopCultureNexus!
The Good Wife 3×03 “Get a Room”
“Oh, where do you live–fairyland?” -Eli Gold
How I Met Your Mother 7×05 “Field Trip”
“Oh, I’m not going to die. I bought an old mine shaft in Colorado, and I’ve spent the last six months filling it with canned goods, assault rifles, and all five seasons of Friday Night Lights.” -Garrison Cootes
House 8×02 “Transplant”
“Hey, we both assaulted our bosses. We’re like twins!” -House
Gossip Girl 5×03 “The Jewel of Denial”
“Chuck, you felt nothing after Field of Dreams so I’m taking it to the next level. If that movie can’t make you feel, maybe this little guy can.” -Dan (attempting to use a dog to get Chuck to feel)
Modern Family 3×05 “Hit and Run”
“Pretty soon we’ll be stopping at every corner. Why don’t you go ask Canada how that’s working out for them?” -Councilman Bailey
“You are going to school not boarding a flight to Denver.” -Manny (on kids with rolling backpacks)
“We get your old rocking horse and we chop the head off.” -Gloria
“The beavers- they build the dams all over the country so there’s no floods. It’s the ‘beaver-ization’ of the Americas.” -Gloria
Up All Night 1×05 “Mr. Bob’s Toddler Kaleidoscope”
“Guy’s got a PhD in Peek-A-Boo.” “God, he’s probably got a Master’s in Got-Your-Nose.” -Reagan and Chris
Community 3×04 “Remedial Chaos Theory”
“It’s called friendship. Look it up. Encarta it.” -Pierce
Parks and Recreation 4×04 “Pawnee Rangers”
“I’ve been standing in the water with the fish on my hook for thirty minutes. I saw it on an episode of I Love Lucy.” -Ann
The Office 8×04 “Garden Party”
“Hey Andy, how about you don’t steal my business strategies, and I won’t dress like my life is just one long brunch.” -Gabe
The League 3×02 “The Sukkah”
“What’s wrong with public schools? I stole this hammer from a public school.” -Taco
#UpAllNight is the best new comedy of the season. :)
- @e_teragram love love love
#upallnight! Best show on tv now!! (till breaking bad come back on…) Love Will and Christina and Maya!
- @vesuviusathome I must say I’m loving
#UpAllNight because I feel personally responsible 4 what happened 2 Arrested Development and don’t want to do it again
- @RachForTheWin I have decided that Maya Rudolph should sing in every episode of
#upallnight Love the trip trap chair in amy’s room!
- @MaxLHad Up All Night was the sharpest and funniest it has been yet!
Here are some notable quotables from this week:
How I Met Your Mother 7×04 “The Stinson Missile Crisis”
Marshall: “Who says two bros can’t rock a birthing class?”
Gossip Girl 5×02 “Beauty and the Feast”
Chuck (to Dan): “That’s what you don’t understand. I feel nothing when I see her and Louis, or when I jump off a building, or when I crash a motorcycle…Even you don’t irritate me.”
Glee 3×03 “Asian F”
Coach Beiste (explaining her crutches): “I kicked a fire hydrant when I found out Ace of Cakes was cancelled.”
New Girl 1×03 “Wedding”
Schmidt: “We’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself…in any way.”
Modern Family 3×04 “Door to Door”
Cam: “I’m gonna take Lilly to school, and then when I get home, I’m gonna scrub this place like a crime scene. Which it is, because you’ve murdered joy.”
Community 3×03 “Competitive Ecology”
Britta: “If loving worms is stupid, I don’t want to be smart.”
Parks & Recreation 4×03 “Born & Raised”
Chris: “I’m a speed reader… One time I read Siddhartha at a stop light.”
Ben: “You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the term ‘nerd’ derogatorily, you’re the one out of the zeitgeist.”
Up All Night 1×04 “New Car”
Ava: “Now that sounds gravitasy.”
The League 3×01 “The Lockout”
Ruxin: “Pile into your clown car of lies, cause you are all going down.”
With the exception of some shows that are premiering in October, most new shows have been on for three or four weeks by now, so let’s take a minute to evaluate which shows are worth sticking with, and which shows you can probably drop from your no-doubt-jam-packed TV schedule.
New Girl – For once, my favorite new show of the season is actually killing it in the ratings. It even beat out Glee in its first week. (Awkward.) And it was the first new show to get a full season pick-up. So unless you really can’t stand the “adorkable” Zooey Deschanel (though it’s hard to believe that anyone could not like her), you should definitely be watching this new Fox comedy. What it has going for it, aside from strong ratings and a Veronica Mars alum (Max Greenfield), is that it seems to already have a good sense of what it wants to be and the tone of the show. Most comedies take a while to find their groove, but this one seems pretty sure of itself right out of the gate. New Girl airs on Tuesdays at 9 on Fox.
Up All Night – I bowed out after three episodes, but it might just be your cup of tea. It’s a legitimately funny show, which is more than I can say for some of the other “comedies” on TV. Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, and Maya Rudolph are great, but I’m just not a big fan of any show whose premise involves a baby. (Except for Raising Hope. They somehow make it work. You should watch that show instead.) I guess in the end, Up All Night had a lot of small laughs, but not enough big laughs to keep me interested. I’ll just watch my Arrested Development DVDs instead and wait for the AD movie to come out. Up All Night airs on Wednesdays at 8 on NBC, and it just got a full season order.
Ringer – I don’t really know what to say about this show. It’s like the weird love child of a soap opera and a Humphrey Bogart movie. It’s kind of like a car wreck you just can’t look away from. But “car wreck” sounds meaner than I intended. It’s really not that bad (in my opinion). It’s certainly improved from the pilot, which featured the world’s worst green screen. The show is genuinely entertaining, and I give them props for trying to do something totally different from any other show in prime time. But if you’re not a huge SMG supporter, or a big fan of over-the-top melodrama, it might be too much for you. Ringer airs on Tuesdays at 9 on the CW.
2 Broke Girls – I would call this show consistently mostly funny. Or mostly consistently funny. It makes me laugh, I’ll say that much. And Kat Dennings can do no wrong in my eyes. She plays Max, the cynical New York waitress like she was born to do it, and that includes her delivery of some (usually) very funny jokes. The premise (jaded city girl teaches a naive former heiress how to make a living in the city) sounds cliché, but it doesn’t seem that way when Max is explaining the rules of Goodwill shopping, or walking Caroline’s horse around New York City. Broke Girls has already earned a full season pick-up from CBS, so at least you know if you get into it, there’s more to come. 2 Broke Girls airs on Mondays at 8:30 on CBS.
Suburgatory – Okay, ignore the ridiculous name. The first two episodes of this new comedy about a single father and his teenage daughter moving from Manhattan to the suburbs were surprisingly funny. The number one thing this show has going for it is its cast. Alan Tudyk (Firefly) is hilarious as always; Cheryl Hines is fabulous as the sickeningly sweet mom of a robotic mean girl; and Jeremy Sisto and Jane Levy have great father-daughter comedic chemistry. Young star Jane Levy has been compared to Emma Stone, not just because she’s a sassy redhead, but because her mastery of sarcasm is something to be admired. Suburgatory has only aired two episodes, but it’s already become my second favorite new comedy (after New Girl). I love the Mean Girls-style mockery of the suburban way of life, where mothers dress their daughters like Preppy Whore Barbie, and (supposedly) straight men get fake tans. Plus, it’ll make you appreciate your own crazy neighbors. Suburgatory airs on Wednesdays at 8:30 on ABC.
Hart of Dixie – My love for Rachel Bilson and Scott Porter wasn’t enough to get me through the pilot episode. But maybe I’ll give it another shot. I just don’t think I can take another fish-out-of-water show this TV season. Hart of Dixie airs Mondays at 8 on The CW.
The Secret Circle – I don’t really know what it is about this show that keeps me coming back… I blame The Vampire Diaries, which I mocked from the beginning, but then once I started watching became completely enamored of. (I’m not proud of this.) Since the first seven or eight episodes of TVD were not what you might call “good,” I still have a hope that Secret Circle will be the same way. (To be honest, I think the pilot of Secret Circle was stronger than the TVD pilot, so that makes me wonder if it’s capable of reaching Vampire Diaries‘ level of awesomeness.) Another reason I keep tuning in is that the main romantic love interest (played by Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles‘ Thomas Dekker) looks like a younger, more heavily eye-lashed version of Seth Gabel, who plays the wonderful Lincoln Lee on Fringe. Anyway, I’m not going to tell you whether or not you should watch Secret Circle because it’s the kind of show that is exactly what it looks like, so you can judge for yourself if it’s up your alley. The Secret Circle airs on Thursdays at 9 on The CW.
Fall’s First Casualties: R.I.P. The Playboy Club and Free Agents. Poor NBC. They aren’t having the best luck this season, although they have no one to blame but themselves for picking up such awful shows in the first place. (Full disclosure: I never watched any of The Playboy Club, but I seriously doubt it was good.) Playboy Club was the first show of the season to get the ax, with the Hank Azaria comedy Free Agents following close behind. I hope the wonderful actors in these shows (I’m referring mostly to Sean Maher and David Krumholtz of Playboy Club, and Hank Azaria and Anthony Head from Free Agents, all of whom I adore) find something much better to do now that their shows have been cancelled.
What about you? What shows have captured (and held) your interest? What should I be watching that I’m not? Leave a comment, or tweet us @PopCultureNexus!
Blogger John Dellaporta ambitiously reviews last week’s premieres on television. Read his post here.
Follow John on Twitter @JohnDellaporta
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Check out the reactions from the Twitter universe:
- @zsazsaZavia Considering the cast, I expected more laugh out loud moments. #UpAllNighthas a good premise but the pilot was bland 4.5/10
- @sarrible I honestly can’t think of anyone I’d rather do karaoke with than Maya Rudolph. #upallnight
- @jennahp #UpAllNight was like watching myself 4 years ago. Especially the bleeps. Pretty good show but not sure non-parents will appreciate it.
- @SarahLovesTV #UpAllNight premiere tonight. Don’t forget to watch! It shows some potential…plus Maya Rudolph is awesome.
- @dawnrichardson4 #upallnight is soo funny. A must see
- @JoshDCarson Al right, #UpAllNightis trying to be 30 Rock meets Modern Family…but I’m going to allow it.
- @brigidlovestv #UpAllNight got a solid B+ from me. I wasn’t hysterically laughing, but I immediately liked the characters. Got a season pass, though!
- @angelsteph And #upallnight was okay but still pretty terrible
- @YesImAwesome27 Saw the premier of #upallnightand thought it was hilarious! This show has some real potential!
- @KitCouchPotato I started crying at the end…in a good way…#UpAllNight
Share your reactions in the comments section or tweet them to @PopCultureNexus