Quotes of the Week

Here are some hilarious highlights from this week’s TV dialogue. This probably goes without saying, but there are some spoilers here, so if you’re squeamish about that kind of thing and aren’t caught up on this week’s TV, consider yourself warned…

Marshall: “The only person who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!” (How I Met Your Mother)

Max (explaining the dos and don’ts of waitressing): “Don’t smile. Because it raises the bar and then I have to smile, and I can’t be doing that. It’s exhausting and I have a bad back.” (2 Broke Girls)

Sue: “I am running at 6 percent, well behind ‘Undecided,’ that rapist running from prison, and ‘I don’t care, please don’t call me during dinner.'” (Glee)

*Burt: “You know what else we’re great at? Remembering important things we see on TV that help us navigate the rough waters of our lives.” (Raising Hope) *Burt also wins the award for Quote I Would Most Like To Have Printed On A T-Shirt Because Of Its Extreme Relevance To My Life.

Dylan: “Just so you know there’s a fan in my cabin that sounds like someone crying.” (Modern Family)

Phil: “There’s something I want to say to you…I will only be checking ‘somewhat satisfied’ on our comment card.” (Modern Family)

Jeff: “Sean Penn called. He said to dial it back a little bit. [pause] Sean Penn is an actor known for his intense roles.” Professor Kane: “I know who Sean Penn is! I’ve seen Milk!” (Community)

*Ron: “I have the toes I have. Let’s just leave it at that.” (Parks and Recreation) *Ron wins the award for Most Inadvertently Philosophical Quote Of The Week

Damon (agreeing to Elena’s idiotic plan): “Okay. But we are out of here before the moon is full and I’m werewolf bait.” Elena: “I promise.” Damon: “Unless you want to relive that whole deathbed kissing thing.” Elena: “I said I promise.”

Walter: “All I do know is that this tech isn’t from here!” Lincoln: “Not from here? You mean, like, China?” (Fringe)

What do you think, fellow TV viewers? What are your favorite TV quotes from this week? Leave them in the comments or tweet us @PopCultureNexus!

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Posted on September 24, 2011, in Quotes, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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