Quotes of the Week: ’30 Rock,’ ‘Suburgatory,’ ‘Modern Family,’ & More

Mr. Schuester tries to find his "duende" on 'Glee,' Martin Short lectures Ted on spring roll etiquette on 'How I Met Your Mother,' and Barney laments the difficulties of tax season on 'Raising Hope'

How I Met Your Mother, season 7, episode 15, “The Burning Beekeeper”

Garrison Cootes (to Ted): “Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit!”

Castle, season 4, episode 14, “The Blue Butterfly”

Castle (narrating the ’40s P.I.’s journal): “As they stared into each other’s eyes, Kate’s heart quickened…”
Beckett: “Did you just say Kate? Are you picturing the P.I. as you, and me as the gangster’s moll?”

Glee, season 3, episode 12, “The Spanish Teacher”

Santana (on Mr. Schuester’s Spanish teaching): “Why don’t you just dress up as the Taco Bell chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer?”

Raising Hope, season 2, episode 13, “Tarot Cards”

Barney (on trying to do Frank’s taxes): “He doesn’t believe in the number 8, and he claims a scorpion as a dependent.”

Suburgatory, season 1, episode 13, “Sex in the Suburbs”

Tessa (to her Africa-obsessed boyfriend): “Kiss me, Scott. Kiss me like I’m Africa.”

Modern Family, season 3, episode 14, “Me? Jealous?”

Phil: “He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy’s living the dream…his dream, not my dream. I’m living my dream. You’re my dream.”

30 Rock, season 6, episode 6, “Hey, Baby, What’s Wrong?”

Tracy: “Lutz, prepare for the adventure of a lifetime! And after we watch Fievel Goes West, we’re going to get you some action!”

Jack: “Admit the UN is useless.”
Cjokula: “It is! Half the building is a laser tag arena.”
Diana: “Admit it’s annoying when Bono comes around.”
Cjokula: “Oh, it’s the worst. Every time he says he’s not hungry when we collect money for pizza, and then he eats like three slices!”

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Posted on February 11, 2012, in Quotes, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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