Quotes of the Week: ‘Cougar Town,’ ‘New Girl,’ & More

Left to right: Laurie & the gang TP it up on 'Cougar Town,' Mitchell & Cam drown their sorrows on 'Modern Family,' & Brad mimicks his fashion idol Grant on 'Happy Endings'

Let’s review the week’s most notable quotables, shall we?…

How I Met Your Mother, season 7, episode 16: “The Drunk Train”

Marshall: “How did I know that he would eat my wallet?”
Lily: “Why was your wallet filled with chocolate?!”
Marshall: “So we’re back to that argument?”

Cougar Town, season 3, episode 1: “Ain’t Love Strange”

Laurie (in response to Tom’s suggestion that they break in his new hot tub): “I’m gonna have to throw my ‘too creepy’ flag!”

Glee, season 3, episode 13: “Heart”

Rachel’s dad: “Honesty. Respect. Dance. Those are the foundations of the Berry family.”

New Girl, season 1, episode 13: “Valentine’s Day”

Schmidt: “Outliers? You should read it. Malcolm Gladwell. It’s one of my desert island books, along with Machiavelli’s The Prince, Freak by John Leguizamo, any of the scripts from the first season of The Vampire Diaries, a little Phantom T…”

Raising Hope, season 2, episode 14: “Jimmy’s Fake Girlfriend”

Jimmy: “I hate this. I feel like I’m tangled in a dirty web of lies.”
Virginia: “Don’t think of it as a dirty web of lies. Think of it as a warm cocoon of lies.”

Suburgatory, season 1, episode 14: “The Body”

Mr Wolfe: “Ariel, our student body president stepped down this morning due to unexpected fatness.”

Modern Family, season 3, episode 15: “Aunt Mommy”

Cam: “I’m playing a new drinking game, it’s called, ‘Every time I’m depressed I take a drink.'”
Mitchell: “That game exists. It’s called alcoholism.”

Happy Endings, season 2, episode 14: “Everybody Loves Grant”

Brad: “I used to think Michael Caine was perfect. Until I met Grant.”

The Vampire Diaries, season 3, episode 15: “All My Children”

Elijah: “In any case, you have until six minutes after 9 to find me.”
Damon: “Wow, how super specific of you.”

30 Rock, season 6, episode 9: “The Tuxedo Begins”

Kenneth (to Liz & Pete): “When I move on to my new job, I’m sure gonna miss you two and your whole Sam and Diane thing… Sam and Diane are the lesbian couple in my building who murdered each other.”

Parks & Recreation, season 4, episode 15: “Dave Returns”

Tom: “I don’t wanna brag, but I have a ton of experience with women being mad at me.”

Up All Night, season 1, episode 16: “Travel Day”

Amanda (to Ava): “We really are the Simon and Garfunkel of Hip Hop.”



Posted on February 18, 2012, in Quotes, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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