‘Dallas’ Drinking Game: Blood May Be Thicker Than Water, But Oil Is Thicker Than Both (And Whiskey Tastes Better)

Okay, ‘fess up—who else watched the premiere of TNT’s Dallas reboot last week? Don’t be ashamed. There’s always room in your TV schedule for a little soapy southern fun. Plus it’s worth it just for the eye candy of Jesse Metcalfe and Josh Henderson. There’s something to be said for a show as shameless as this one in its deliciously over-the-top melodrama, but it never hurts to add another level of excitement to your viewing with a friendly drinking game. After watching the premiere, here’s what I came up with to add a little something extra to your Dallas experience:

Take a drink…

  • every time someone takes their shirt off
  • every time Larry Hagman’s eyebrows look like they’re about to crawl off of his face and start drilling for oil
  • every time someone mentions oil
  • every time someone makes a broad statement about the bonds of family and/or their “birthright”
  • every time the Dallas Cowboys are referenced
  • every time a character’s true motives are revealed (you may only drink after you have displayed the appropriate level of shock, preferably with an over-exaggerated gasp)
  • every time someone stares pensively at a landscape
  • every time you see an accessory/piece of jewelry with “J.R.” engraved on it
  • every time someone from Desperate Housewives appears on screen*

(*do not attempt this, lest you shall die of alcohol poisoning)

  • every time Jordana Brewster furrows her brow
  • every time someone spitefully addresses someone else by their familial relation (e.g. “This is my bar, cousin.”)
  • every time you see a horse (this includes photos and computer desktop backgrounds)

There you have it, folks. As the season goes on I’m sure the rules will change accordingly, but for now I think this is a good start. Drink and watch responsibly, and let me know what you thought of the premiere of Dallas in the comments section.



Posted on June 15, 2012, in Television and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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