‘Vampire Diaries’ 4×03: “The Rager” Initial Reactions

Image courtesy of The CW

YOU GUYS. This season of The Vampire Diaries is bananas. I mean, what’s crazier than Damon and Meredith having an almost-emotional moment together? Oh, I know: Damon and Klaus teaming up to take on the new vampire hunter in town. The minute those two sexy bad boys started bantering wittily at each other, it was like suddenly everything in the world made sense. The planets aligned, Firefly was un-canceled, tomato was a vegetable, and I finally understood the first season of Mad Men. It was like Klaus and Damon were each other’s missing pieces… Okay, I’m getting weird, sorry. Anyway, here are my minute-by-minute reactions to “The Rager”  (which will henceforth be known as “The Episode Where Damon and Klaus Realized They Were Meant For Each Other”)…

  • Just when we thought Matt’s life couldn’t get any worse, he becomes a walking sack of blood and self-pity whose only purpose in life is to feed Elena while simultaneously drowning in guilt over the fact that he’s alive and she’s a vampire. For Pete’s sake, writers, give this poor boy something better to do than look like a kicked puppy.
  • I love Stefan’s midlife crisis motorcycle. It just reinforces my theory that deep down he’s really a 50-year-old man.
  • Why are Stefan and Caroline so much more fun to watch than Stefan and Elena? I feel like this might be a recurring theme later in the season.
  • I kind of feel bad for Elena. Her wet blanket-ness has just been amplified by her new vampirism. I guess we can’t all be like Caroline and become the most awesome person ever when we turn into a vampire. But I’ll give Elena some time to get herself together. You know who won’t, though? Rebekah.
  • I can’t believe Rebekah thought Matt would forgive her for causing the car accident. She just waltzes up to him like, “Hey, sorry about almost killing you and filling you with crushing guilt over the fact that you survived at the cost of Elena’s humanity. Friends?”
  • Elena to Damon: “I need bourbon to get through Rebekah’s party. Yours is better than Stefan’s.” #metaphor
  • DAMON IS SHIRTLESS AND UNBUTTONING HIS PANTS. (Thank you, Vampire Diaries writers, for always maintaining the sexy male torso quota on this show.)
  • Wow, everyone is really eager to point fingers at vampires and their associates this week. Matt told the vampire hunter about Rebekah, and Jeremy told him about Meredith. It was nice to see a little vengeful fire from Matt, and I can’t say I’d be disappointed if Meredith went the way of all of Alaric’s other lady friends.
  • Okay, I get that you’re rebellious teenagers in a town whose mortality rate is higher than their graduation rate, but really? Skipping class to have a kegger in the middle of the afternoon? That’s just sad. I guess nothing says “YOLO” like teenagers day-drinking in the woods.
  • Rebekah is the worst hostess ever. What would Miss Manners say about her throwing Elena’s daylight ring down the disposal? I guess it’s been too long for Rebekah to remember how crappy it feels to be a new vampire. That being said, it would be pretty hilarious if Elena was trapped in the pantry until sunset.
  • Oh, hi there, Phoebe Tonkin from Secret Circle! What are you doing in this neck of The CW? Preparing to stomp on the hearts of Forwood shippers everywhere? I thought so.
  • I am loving Klaus’ even-more-smug-than-usual attitude regarding Tyler’s apparent attraction (and possibly more) with Hayley the werewolf. The Forwood fan in me is throwing a tantrum in the corner, but the part of me that loves Klaus and secretly wants him to be with Caroline is smirking deviously.
  • So… Is April the new Elena? Is it, like, required that we have a helpless human girl whose life is perpetually at risk to keep the plot moving? Because I was kind of really excited to be done with that.
  • When Damon calls for Tyler, Klaus tells him Tyler can’t come to the phone because he’s busy “making big decisions about honesty and whatnot.” Klaus, I hate what you’re doing to me, but I love it.
  • WAIT. What is happening? Are Klaus and Damon flirting? I think they are. OH MY GOD. This is the beginning of a beautiful bromance!!! It’s perfect—Damon is looking to fill the void of Alaric, and Klaus is still trying to replace his true love, Stefan. EVERYTHING IS KLAMON AND NOTHING HURTS.
  • Elena is doing a keg stand! Finally she’s letting loose. All it took was becoming a vampire. (I’m just saying, Ecstasy would’ve been easier.)
  • Stefan and Elena riding on his motorcycle together look like something out of an Olsen twins movie. Oh wait, now they look like a rip-off of that scene in The Perks of Being a Wallflower where Emma Watson stands up in the back of a moving pickup truck. But I guess they’re allowed to give a wink and a nod to Perks since Nina Dobrev was in it.
  • Elena is like, “SO THIS IS WHAT FUN FEELS LIKE?”
  • It’s actually kind of refreshing to be able to watch Elena be reckless without having to always worry that she’s going to get killed, or, more accurately, that someone else will get killed trying to save her. Why, hello, glass! You are looking very half-full, if I may be so bold.
  • Stelena’s gettin’ steamy… WE INTERRUPT THIS SEXY TIME TO BRING YOU…DAMON! (I mean, I’m not complaining.)
  • Matt is sharing his feelings with Rebekah!? I smell a facial coming… Yup, he went there. PSYCH! This is hallucination Matt! He’s way meaner than bumbly human Matt. Sorry, Rebekah. Your feelings just got bitch-slapped…by your inner demons! Twist!
  • Question: when Damon and Klaus team up, who gets to be bad cop?
  • What is this “one of the five” business? Is there a new supernatural thing being added to the cannon? Because they just made a new expository intro, so it would be a pain to have to add one more thing now, like, “Also, we have banshees. Welcome to Mystic Falls.”
  • Klaus to Stefan: “For future reference, one voicemail is just as effective as nine.” Okay, we all know Klaus is secretly giddy that he succeeded in making Stefan jealous by hanging out with Damon, and he’s thrilled that Stefan called so many times. It’s called playing hard to get. Look it up.
  • April and Rebekah…? BFFs? What’s happening here?
  • Best line of the night goes to Jeremy: “See, I told you I could be a badass!” Damon’s response: “Badasses don’t say that.” (This reminds me of when Damon visited Jeremy in Colorado and it was awesome. Damon and Jeremy have had some great moments together. Except for that time Damon killed Jeremy. That was definitely not awesome.)
  • Meredith told Damon to swallow his pride and “fix things with Stefan and Elena.” Ladies and gentlemen, may I present… Meredith Fell: unlikely voice of reason.
  • Awww… Stefan and Caroline having a heart-to-heart actually makes me like Stefan! How does Caroline do this? She’s like an angel, or a fairy godmother, or a cross between Ellen and Oprah. She really brings out the best in everyone.
  • Stefan has decided that he can’t have any fun, or he’ll risk becoming the Ripper again. So…are you going to break up with your emotionally unstable transitioning vampire girlfriend? Good luck with that, bro.
  • He’s right, though. Neither Stefan nor Elena is really at a point in their (after)lives where they should be dating anyone at all. A year ago, she was human who was in a perpetual state of mourning the loss of a parental figure and trying to salvage her relationship with a serial killer, and he was, well, a serial killer. I think they could both use some time apart to really figure things out.
  • Caroline is the most fabulous person on this show BY FAR. I love how much she’s been there for Stefan and Elena. And now she tells Stefan not to worry because she’ll be there for him to make sure he doesn’t go over the edge.
  • I can’t help but feel like, even as a vampire, Elena is still making terrible decisions that put her and everyone else in danger. I’m just saying.
  • Good timing, Damon! Finally he gets to be the one to save Elena from doing something that she’d hate herself for later. Poor Matt… He just can’t catch a break.
  • Damon: “I’m gonna teach you (how to be a vampire).” ALRIGHT! Vampire School is now in session. Professor Damon Salvatore, at your service. Woohoo! This is going to be fun.

What did you think of “The Rager”? Are you as into the Klaus/Damon bromance as I am? Considering I’ve already ordered t-shirts that say “KLAMON 4EVER,” probably not. Share your thoughts on this episode and the season thusfar in the comments section, or tweet us @PopCultureNexus!



Posted on October 25, 2012, in Television and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. OK, I feel like a wet blanket but I thought the episode was just meh. I do love Caroline and I hope they give Matt something to do other than be a living blood bank. Stefan and Elena are just BORing, and I’m not even a Delena shipper. And, yes, vamp Elena is really annoying. Preview for next week’s ep looks even worse, but I’ll give it another chance. On a positive note, thank you Julie Plec for gratuitous naked torso scenes!!

  1. Pingback: Top 5 TV Moments This Week: Bromance, Bromaine Lettuce, & a Broposal « Pop Culture Nexus

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