‘Almost Human’ 1×08 Photo Recap: “You Are Here”

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Remember back when John was all surly and suspicious of Dorian, and he hated everything android-related? We got a little flashback to those days—before Dorian took him on a magic carpet ride and showed him a whole new world. This was because the episode was aired out of order. It was originally supposed to be the second episode, but Fox bumped it in favor of the sexbots episode. Because who needs plot continuity and character development when you can just show naked ladies? Being reminded of how much ornerier John was whenwe first met him actually made me appreciate how he’s developed since then. Although it’s hard to tell sometimes when the episode timeline is more confusing than the last season of Lost. I’m excited for everyone who will be watching this on DVD and hopefully with the episodes in their intended order. How special that will be for them! Anyway, it was still a good episode despite the noticeable earmarks of its incorrect order.

As with many episodes of crime-oriented shows, this one opened with a random guy running through the streets in a desperate fashion.

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This dude was making quite a scene doing his Tom Cruise run all through the city. I mean, come on, people are trying to peacefully commute to their places of work, guy. Way to make everything about you and your supposed impending death. He was yelling about how “they” were going to kill him, but he never thought to calmly explain who “they” were and the specifics of why and how. That would have been good to know, buddy. And it would have saved Valerie a lot of Googling.

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So yeah, RIP this guy. But more interestingly, John has been attending anger management seminars! He’s made some lovely new friends, including Jim, AKA Cast Hands. Even with his “improved” attitude, surly Jim makes John look like a Care Bear. John also mentioned a fellow group member whom he called “Anal.” A voice from across the circle corrected him, saying that his name is “Anil.” This was pretty mind-blowing because OF ALL THE FRINGE CHARACTERS to give a shout-out to, it had to be Anil: the perpetual thorn in my side throughout the entire final season. The guy that wouldn’t die, even after countless beloved characters bit the dust. Freaking Anil. And now he lives on in the world of Almost Human. Sigh… It couldn’t have been “Lincoln,” or “Astrid”…? Anyway, the counselor made a point of harping on John’s whole traumatic backstory.

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I loved this scene so much. All the awards for Karl Urban’s facial expressions. And, hey, thanks to the counselor lady for that convenient review on John’s nefarious ex-girlfriend!

At the crime scene, Detective Paul’s MX was being a real douche. Like owner, like android, I guess.

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Silly MX… Trying to convince John of the .004% chance that the wind and some ricochets could have accounted for the bullet killing Anton. Yeah…sure buddy. I thought those robots were supposed to be smart. Good thing Dorian is here to offer a second expert opinion.

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Obviously John is making real progress on that whole anger management thing. Maldonado was not exactly pleased by the news that John had destroyed yet another expensive MX.

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John was exactly 0% apologetic, stating that the MX was defective, and he disposed of it the same way he would a toaster that burned his toast. Soooo basically what I garnered from this conversation was that John watches Fringe because WHY ELSE WOULD HE MENTION TOAST? I see what you did there, Joel Wyman. You magnificent bastard.

It was weird to hear John talk about androids as “bullet catchers,” but it would have made perfect sense in the second episode, before he and Dorian had really bonded. Speaking of which:

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Aw, I love when John talks about his feelings. And by “talks about his feelings,” I mean, “furrows his brow in a way that expresses an emotion.” He seems to have perfected this art—especially with Dorian. Granted, this scene definitely felt like it should have happened, oh, say in the second episode…

Rudy called to explain how the bullet was able to track the victim. (Science!) It was the work of a group of arms dealers that looked like either former Russian Olympians or an ABBA cover band. They had used Anton’s own tracking software to create the so-called “magic bullet”—not to be confused with the popular as-seen-on-TV food processor.

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The potential buyer wanted a demonstration of the Magiq Bullitt (patent pending), so blondie the Ice Queen graciously offered to use it on Kira, since they needed her dead anyway. Talk about killing two birds with one bullet…

Tensions were high at the precinct. Detective Paul was even more irritable (and irritating) than usual after John shot his MX. He even lashed out at Valerie.

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This also felt like information on Valerie that would have been good to know in episode 2. Or anytime before episode 8, really. But hey, better late than never I guess.

Bringing back the Syndicate plotline from the pilot, Maldonado went to interview Creeps McGee to see if he could give her some intel on the case at hand.

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John was none too pleased to hear that Maldonado even approached Reinhardt, let alone considered offering him a deal. But I think the fact that John didn’t punch Reinhardt in the face—even when he goaded John about his ex-girlfriend, saying he knew where she is—is proof that those anger management classes are paying off.

John and Dorian went to find Kira because they knew she’d be next in the Magiq Bullitt kill queue. And they got there just in time!

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Who’s a bullet catcher now, Kennex? Oh, wait… Still, you could tell John was starting to rethink his whole androids-are-just-defective-toasters theory. Also, kudos to Michael Ealy for speaking only in Korean for ten minutes.

John explained to Kira that they were going to take her to a safehouse until they caught the people trying to kill her. Kira countered with the idea that she could have all her memories of Anton wiped from her brain (as performed by a “scrubber,” Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind style) so the arms dealers wouldn’t want to kill her anymore. Because that’s totally how homicidal arms dealers think.

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Rudy fixed Dorian up so he would stop singing Korean pop songs (which I actually didn’t mind) and start speaking in English again. The only thing that bothered me was that Dorian was wearing his shirt the whole time Rudy was working on him. I mean, come on! When you have a perfectly good excuse to show Michael Ealy shirtless, you take it. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Teen Wolf, but I think that’s just common sense.

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Valerie called John to give him an update on the money trail, and John was hilariously awkward and adorable.

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I’m not gonna lie: I was pretty charmed by their flirty banter this episode. Maybe if this had aired when it was supposed to, the Kennex/Stahl romantic tension wouldn’t have been eclipsed by John and Dorian’s sizzling chemistry. But probably not.

Anyway, Kira was making really solid decisions for herself: running away from the safehouse, meeting with a scrubber, waiting for European arms dealers to come kill her. Great calls all around.

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Before anything too terrible could happen, John and Dorian stormed in to save the day. Or ruin it, if you’re a memory scrubber just trying to do your job while people are shooting at your patrons.

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Thanks to Dorian and his excellent bullet-catching abilities, everyone got out of there safely. (Except for the arms dealers.) Kira was super grateful that they saved her in time so she could keep her memories of Anton. She even gave John a pen (which is probably the 2048 equivalent of a feather quill) as a memento. John actually used it to write something on a piece of paper (what a novelty!) for Valerie.

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OK, this scene was actually delightful. As much as I may poke fun at the under-development of Stahl, she has the potential to be a really interesting character, and she and John have a great dynamic—even if it’s not quite as perfect as John and Dorian’s. It’s hard not to keep mentioning the caliber of acting on this show. The ensemble is just so all-around fabulous! Even suffering from the inconsistency of being aired out of order, this show has really started to come into its own. We’ll see where things pick up in three weeks!

What did you think of the second eighth episode? Any idea what the “something worse” is that Maldonado referred to after her meeting with Reinhardt? How far away are we from developing a hover-tray that delivers coffee like they had at the anger management session? Is it possible to have a simultaneous spin-off sitcom of John in his anger management seminars so I stop missing Go On so much? How much would you pay to watch John and Dorian actually ride a horse together? Leave a comment or the lyrics to your favorite Korean pop song!

As always, thanks to TV.com’s brilliant Price Peterson, whose hilarious Vampire Diaries photo recaps were the inspiration for mine. And thank you for reading!


*All images are property of FOX Broadcasting


Posted on January 15, 2014, in Almost Human Photo Recaps, Photo Recaps, Television and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.


  2. i lost it at the horse riding pic. great recap as usual. god bless u
    but i noticed u didn’t mention the most important moment in this ep when detective Paul threatens (not for real tho, we know he doesn’t have to balls for it) to put a bullet in Dorian’s head and John goes on protective boyfriend mode with his “don’t even look at dorian!”.

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