Happy Birthday, Mary!
On this day…
President Andrew Johnson was impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives.
The U.S. Olympic hockey team accepted their gold medals after defeating Finland to achieve their “Miracle on Ice” victory in 1980.
The Battle of Los Angeles (no, not the Aaron Eckhart movie) occurred in 1942, leading many to believe the attacking aircrafts were of extraterrestrial origin.
And in one of the defining moments in history, a baby girl was born, destined to become a great prophet of pop culture. That baby girl would change many lives, including my own. That baby girl was our very own Mary.
While she may not have beaten the Russian hockey team to earn her country an Olympic medal, I would still argue that her birth may be the most important event in history to occur on this day. Did you know Mary invented electricity? I’m sure you accredited this to Thomas Edison or Adam Sandler’s mom in The Waterboy, but in fact it was Mary who first generated electrical current. (Little-known fact: Mary is one quarter Pikachu.) You can also thank Mary for the Beatles. Before she introduced them, they were just four random British guys with bad hair. Another thing you probably didn’t know about Mary is that her face was on all of Slovakia’s currency (before they switched to Euros).
You know, Mary is very modest and doesn’t like to take credit for all her extraordinary achievements, but on this day, I think it’s important to remember all the reasons Mary is great. She’s one of the kindest people I know, and she’ll go out of her way to brighten someone’s day. (Even if it means terrifying them first by jumping out at them from behind a pillar.) Mary is a rock—you can always count on her to be there when you need her. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have graduated from college if it weren’t for her. I’m insanely lucky to have known Mary for as many years as I have—from when we were just kids in grade school selling mini erasers and talking about Disney’s So Weird, through years of laughing to the point of tears during college, and now here we are working on Pop Culture Nexus together and counting down the days until we get to see the Veronica Mars movie in theaters together. (Sorry to make the Veronica Mars movie sound like a major life event, but it kind of is for us.) I’m not sure how my life would have turned out if Mary had never been born, but I know it wouldn’t have been half as incredible as it is today. And I would really miss electricity.
Happy birthday, Mary! Thanks for being awesome.